We Should All Be Feminists

I am all about empowerment, and I'm all for equality. So when i stumbled upon Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche in the summer of 2013, I did more research into Feminism and what it really meant. Despite popular opinion, feminism is not a cult of women seeking vengeance against men and wanting to dominate them, however it is an ideal to strive for. It is the belief that both men and women can live in an equal society, free from demands ascribed to them based on gender. Feminism also preaches that we have no set expectations from males and females based on gender. Feminism does not say that one gender is more valued, but it preaches that both have just as much potential. In today's society, where survival is not based on physical advantage but on intellect, their is no need to preach of a superior gender. I now personally self identify as a Feminist because i believe in equality. I don't hate men, frankly i get along with them very well, i just believe that there should be a balance. I don't preach down on persons who disapprove of feminism, nor do i lean towards shrouding myself in masculinity to feel empowered. I wear lipstick, i like braids, i love fashion [as you can see], i read stereotypical romance novels, things that are deemed by society as decidedly non-feminist. Here is an excerpt from Chimamanda's speech which inspired my feminist stance . . .

On How Gender Roles Hurt Boys

"We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage.

We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerian-speak—a hard man.

In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.)

What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not "the boy has to pay," but rather, "whoever has more should pay." Of course, because of their historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today. But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means.

But by far the worst thing we do to males—by making them feel they have to be hard—is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is.

And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males.

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller.

We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him."

This is an excerpt from WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINISTS by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Copyright © 2012, 2014 by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg3umXU_qWc

Twenty Fifteen

“Renewal requires opening yourself up to new ways of thinking and feeling”― Deborah Day, BE HAPPY NOW!

Two Thousand and Fourteen was a really great year. I have no queries or regrets about it and I can say that i really enjoyed the experiences it offered. However, 2014 is over and it's 2015. It's time to start fresh, take out a new paper, and get ready for the unknown road ahead. I hope that this year is a year that brings great things for my readers, and i hope this year sees lots of new growth with this Blog. It's been a journey and I'm ready to see what 2015 has to offer. This isn't really a long ramble... so this is all i really have to say.

Progress Report: 7 Months of Fro

It's been 7 awesome months since i made the decision to go natural... I decided to transition instead of doing a big chop for fear of looking like a boy. I had originally intended to transition for a year.... but after 6 months of transitioning i got fed up of battling two textures. So, i did what any normal person would do... i went into my bathroom with my blue handle scissors and cut off my hair. After slowly cutting off the tiny straggles of relaxed ends that i had left, i was fully natural. On May 4th, the day of my not so big chop, i had 2 1/2 inches of hair on my head. Now... 7 months later i have 7 inches of hair which stretches a little past my nose. It took quite a lot of patience to get this far.  

I can totally agree with the various hair bloggers when they say that your hair changes after the big chop. The day of my chop, my hair was extremely hard and was in dire need of moisture... it also didn't help that i went out to a fair in the hot sun and had nothing else but water to keep it going. Also.. my hair seemed to grow in one consistent pattern that i identified as 4C. however, with length came a bunch of new things. The front and back of my hair is notably 4a in it's composition and whenever my hair gets wet it droops down in my face and down my neck. The sides are mostly 4c and poofs out now... before my entire fro would just shrink. The Front of my hair is a lot softer and i have a large section at the middle and sides of my head where straight hairs grow with my fro. Lots of people thought i still had permed ends until the looked at the whole strand and realized it grew straight from my scalp.

I've been experimenting with ways to style my hair daily as a twist out everyday doesn't really work anymore. I've gotten products to help with my hair and honestly my hair now holds moisture for days on end. I use a lot of oils which keeps my hair nice and shiny. My hair is also extremely thick.. but i love it that way. A few weeks ago i did my first flat iron on my hair.. and i failed miserably. I had prepped my hair with moisture and heat protectant, but my flat iron to 350 degrees and my hair never did fall flat. It just stretched out further to show how much length i had retained but it wasn't the straightened look i had expected. I liked what had happened tho because i got to rock giant puffs for a while... i don't have any of those pictures in this post though.. maybe another time ^_^ I've even experimented with marley hair and created some cool styles which gave my hair more volume. After 7 months i can say that i am satisfied with my hair and how it's growing so far.

NB: If you haven't noticed, you can see a reduction in pimples on my face. That's because i decided to reduce my soda and juice intake and now drink mostly water. I've seen a difference in my hair health and my skin and i think i'll keep doing this.

Kinks are Pink!

There are many different fashion blogs on the internet and with the advent of the natural hair movement, there are many blogs about natural hair. However, few blogs are able to strike the perfect balance between both of these topics. Ashlei, the brain behind Kinks are the new Pink in my view has an excellent balance. She's not only a major figure in type 4 hair education, but she's also somewhat of a style guru for many persons who read her blog. I really love her blog as i learn new ways to care for my hair as well as cool ways to mis and match patterns and styles for outfits. She's always experimenting with different methods of doing things and she's not selfish in sharing her methods with her following. So, in honour of Ashlei's exceptional style, here are a few of her outfits that i absolutely loved >>>>

SPOTLIGHT: FALIESHA GOMEZ

I had an email interview with the beautiful and artistic Faliesha from Instagram. I've been following her for awhile and her feed is wonderful. She's a peaceful person and she shares lots of Muslim passages that often uplift my spirit. So, i approached her about this feature for my Blog and i was so ecstatic when she said yes. I'll stop holding up the process : ) Here's more on Faliesha . . .

My name is Faliesha Gomez, i live in Canada, and I'm in my last year of high school, soon to be going off to college. Ever since I was a young girl I've always had a passion for art and fashion.  It was always that one thing that I went to when I needed to get my feelings out or even when I felt like being Inspired. With that being said I thought of a way to broadcast my talent to other people, so why not henna! It was something I knew many people would enjoy. I began practicing on myself as a child, and realized that it was something I truly admired. And wanted to share it with other people. And ever since then I loved what I been doing!

Religion is something that either brings people together or rips them apart. It shouldn't be that way. I think all religions are beautiful no matter what one you come from, or what you've been grown into, and you shouldn't be judged for what you believe. My mother is Muslim and father is Jewish. My decision on religion was purely my choice. Growing up I always leaned towards my mother's religion. Islam. It was always so fascinating and beautiful to me to see so many people come together, people that have never met giving each other hugs and kisses. I thought it was beautiful. Now being older, I really have learned that Islam is a beautiful religion. No flaws at all, I fell in love with my religion and am 100% content with my decision to be a Muslim.

Jane Sews: Summer Capsule

the south african-based label jane sews has just released their new summer capsule collection, and as expected, it’s a good one! designer amy venter has introduced a beautiful new set of classic dresses and separates in a clean black and cream palette with the cutest little sandals and handbags to go with them. the palm print is fun and playful without being overdone, just the type of thing i would love to wear on that imaginary resort vacation i’ve got planned in my head. everything is constructed in crisp cotton, breezy rayon, and luxurious silk blends right in their durban studio, at an incredibly affordable price point. if you haven’t taken the time to check out this brand, then today is the day!  - Calivintage

The best thing about living in the Caribbean is that i get to shop for summer clothing all year round. So when i came across the JANE SEWS SUMMER CAPSULE, i just knew that these were things that i could see myself wearing. The 'flowy' dresses and loose flair bottoms are just perfect, and the prints scream my name. I'm a devout fan of dresses, and if you like them as much as i do, i can assure you that this collection is one you should check out.

   The collection is both comfortable and stylish and is appealing for the everyday person to sport around. The collection incorporates very simple and bright colors that just shout summer. The tasteful design of the clothing attracted me to the collection to begin with. The Collection also has an afro-centric fell to it and i really loved the designs. The Shoot was well executed and the model was rightly selected. If you are ever looking for something new and refreshing i highly suggest Jane Sews.

tink photography hair and make-up by candice mac nicol model: ndumi matiwane