Relationships

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Relationships are an important part in the lives of people everywhere. Interaction with family,friends, and even significant others help to shape people into who they are. Romantic Relationships especially are a very big deal. It seems as if lack of a boyfriend means that you aren't doing something right or that something is wrong with you. Being surrounded by a flurry of couples on a daily basis can do a lot to a person's self esteem. However, i'm not in a rush to get myself a boyfriend and it's taken  me quite a while to be comfortable with that idea. I used to think that i wasn't pretty because i didn't have a boyfriend, and i racked my brain questioning myself as to what was wrong with me. I used to pick out my flaws and say maybe this is why i'm not good enough or whatever... But then one day i said... who is going to love me if i don't love myself. Like the quote at the beginning of this post says, the most powerful relationship i will have is the one i forge with myself. Having a boyfriend isn't going to make me love myself or make me look any different. Learning to love myself, be at one with myself, and accept it is all apart of being happy with myself.

However, even though i have reached this understanding, lots of people elsewhere haven't. Some women still feel the need to let a man define them. " A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence"(Mandy Hale). We should teach girls that there is more to aspire to in life than to be at the side of a man. We should instill in our girls the values which consist of hard work and making a good name for yourself instead of going to guy after guy to be happy. I'm not saying that boyfriends are bad, but our approach towards the concept should definitely be changed. Having a man isn't everything, sometimes when you evaluate things you would have been better off single. You should be fully comfortable with yourself before you go around asking other people to add their luggage and issues to yours. Relationships require balance and you should only get into one if you have the right reasons. I'm going to wait until i find the right person before i have a relationship. You have to love yourself before you can think of loving anyone else. And the fact of the matter is, having a boyfriend right now wouldn't make an explosive difference in my life.  If there is a guy who can accept my quirks and flaws i'll be happy to give him a chance.

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them and not because you need them.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

The Question of Culture & Identity

 

The question "who am i?" has come up many times in the lives of many individuals. Being a black person, especially, comes with a lot of questions as to your cultural identity. If you ask a non-African black person if they consider themselves an African, more likely than not, the answer will be no. Lots of historians have created this ideal of Africa as the homeland of Blackness and that all black persons are in essence Africans. However, I would not go around calling myself an African or proclaiming the continent my home. Of course i recognize my African background, but i am not African. I was not born there, I cannot speak the language, and I cannot identify with many aspects of African culture. I am simply i person of  African descent who also happens to be a mixture of other ethnic groups as well. I have a bit of Indian, some Portuguese, some African, and a bunch of other mix ups which is to be expected as a person coming from the Caribbean. Being black goes beyond Africa and Africa is not home to solely black individuals. In saying that i am not African, i am not denying my forefathers and i am not denying the slave background which resonates with being a native of the Caribbean. I am simply saying that there is more to me than Africa and defining myself as a person, i have to consider all the other aspects and elements that make me unique. I am a unique blend of various cultures and peoples packaged into an individual known as Annetta. I no longer identify myself as an Antiguan, because my identity is broader than that. I am a Caribbean girl, which encompasses all the unique elements that are found in the Caribbean and relate the unique elements that are found in me. Gaining an understanding of  Africa is  great, because that is where it all started... but that is just it, Africa is only the start. Many other things came in along the road and we shouldn't let generalizations define us. Why are people African Americans or Afro-Caribbean and not European- Americans. It is simply to remind us of our negative past, but we need to look beyond our past and stop using it to identify our selves. We must chose a path of progression or else we become nothing else but our history and we should not let this happen as a person is more than just their past.